Typically when someone shares about a mission trip they share their top "God moments", or a time when they really experienced God telling them something at a particular point. My first "God moment" actually happened on the plane ride to South Korea. I was reading several encouraging letters that my friends had given me...and all I remember is breaking down in tears and thanking God for putting these incredible people in my life and for His comforting presence with me. I've honestly never felt more comforted by God than in that moment on that plane. I was just so overwhelmed with the fact that God is with me! I was reminded of the great commission: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” The promise is true! In this moment when I had set out to obey this command of our Savior, I was the most comforted by God than I had ever been in my life. It's not that I hadn't experienced the presence of God until this point, it was more that I had never experienced His specific comfort. It was this feeling of Him saying to me, "No matter what happens, it's gonna be OK because I'm here with you." What an incredible promise right?!! And what an incredible God! I absolutely love moments like this, when God takes a fact that I've known for practically all my life and makes me understand it like I just heard it for the first time.
Our first day in Thailand was spent running around and exploring the city of Bangkok. The sights, sounds, and smells were so unique and interesting and everyone worked through jet lag like champs! It was in Bangkok where I had another big "God moment". We were able to visit a Buddhist shrine in the middle of the city, which was a heart-breaking and eerie experience for all of us. Some of our team felt darkness, some felt saddened, but I felt....urgency. It was so heart-breaking to see all of these people kneeling and worshiping a statue that can't help them. They were searching, and it killed me that I knew what they needed, I knew what they were searching for...but I couldn't tell them. I didn't know their language. And even if I did know the language, Buddhism is so engrained in Thai culture that they believe if they forsake Buddhism they also forsake being Thai. Our missionary contact, Dave, explained that typically converting a Thai person to Christianity requires building a long-term relationship and several months or years of pouring into that person's life. For the first time in my life I felt the urgent need for long-term missionaries; people that would be willing to live in and learn another culture for the sake of building relationships and reaching people for Christ. This is especially needed in Thailand, where less than 1% of the country is Christian. So this concludes the first thing that God laid on my heart: the NEED.
After one night and day in Bangkok, we flew to Chiang Rai, a northern city in Thailand. We were told that for the next 4 days we would be working with the Akha people group. Akha people are mainly immigrants from Myanmar and Laos who first started coming to Thailand to seek refuge from war or famine. They are really looked down upon by Thai people since they aren't really Thai and many of them are illegal. It's hard for many of them to get jobs or have opportunities of any kind, so when an offer appears they usually jump on it without hesitation. For this reason, the Akha people are a major target for solicitors in the sex industry, especially children. We originally thought we could be doing a 3-day VBS with the Akha kids, but we ended up doing 2 days of pouring concrete for the construction of a church and one day of VBS with the Akha kids in the mountains. They say the number one rule on mission trips is to be flexible, and I believe our team followed this rule really well! I don't think I heard a single complaint...which was encouraging. We were all happy to be able to help in any way that we could, even if it wasn't what we originally anticipated.
The VBS in with the Akha kids in the mountains was an incredible experience! The kids were all so well-behaved and just happy to be hanging out with Americans. The VBS took place in a public school, which was so surprising to me. They had no problem with us sharing the Gospel and teaching about Jesus in their school simply because we were American, and they idolize Americans. One teacher was literally in tears because of how excited and thankful she was that a whole group of Americans came to their little Akha school in the mountains. I was talking with a good friend on the way back to the states, and she explained to me how blessed she feels to be an American simply because of the weight we could have in several countries like Thailand where Americans are highly esteemed. This was an interesting point to me. I always felt blessed to be an American, but I never thought about how this little fact can give me such an advantage to spread the gospel in certain Asian and Latin American cultures. They hang on every word we say...so what if we only spoke the words of God!? What if God gave me the nationality that I have not just to bless me, but to more effectively reach the people of these cultures?
We found out later that night that our team's little flannelgraph presentation of the gospel could be the first time several of these kids ever heard the name of Jesus. Wow! What a privilege! To be able to first utter the name of our incredible Lord to these kids, to be able to plant a seed in their hearts, was such a blessing! I'm so thankful to God for that opportunity, and I hope to have many more like it throughout the rest of my life.Our last day in Chiang Rai was spent being the typical American tourist. We rode long-tail boats and elephants, visited the Golden Triangle (where you can see 3 countries in one spot), and visited the White Temple. This is the day that typically everyone wants to hear about because it made for great pictures. "You got to ride an elephant?! That is SOO cool!" Yeah, it was cool, but it's definitely not the highlight of my trip. But all in all, it was a cool day with awesome experiences!
Our last 2 days spent in Bangkok were probably the heaviest, because that's where we learned about the condition of Thailand as a whole in regards to human trafficking. We had several missionaries and representatives of non-profit organizations come and speak to us and tell us the facts. It was in these 2 days when we were told that 60% of the Thai government's income is from the sex industry, that 70% of the single males traveling to Thailand come only for this particular service, and that most of the girls in the industry could leave any time they wanted, but they stay because there really is no other option. These facts completely changed everything that I thought I knew about human trafficking. I always thought that it was an issue of law enforcement, that these girls are only where they are because they were kidnapped or tricked into working that job and that the police were the only people qualified to help these girls. But the truth is that most of the girls know exactly what they're getting themselves into, but they commit to it out of poverty and lack of any other option. It's not always an issue of "bad guys" being out there. The problem is more rooted in factors such as certain aspects of Thai culture, the breakdown of families, poverty, and government corruption
Finding out more about this problem was eye-opening, devastating, overwhelming and inconvenient all at the same time. The first three adjectives probably make sense, but you might be questioning my choice of the last adjective. Well, it was inconvenient for me because as I learned more about the sex industry in Thailand, I began to realize that this is a problem that I can directly help if I choose to. I began to realize that these girls don't need Liam Neeson to come and bust them out, they just need someone to give them another option. They just need a leg-up to higher opportunities. They just need some way to provide for their families. And more than anything, they need Jesus. Of course, all of these things are things that I can actually help with if I'm willing to make the sacrifice to help...which to me is (you got it) inconvenient. Would I be willing to move to Thailand and learn Thai in order to help this problem?
Then we walked through the red light district. We went in shifts of 5 at a time so that we wouldn't look suspicious. When it was my group's turn to go, I was so incredibly nervous. I kept singing in my head "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear. I tried to avoid looking around in case I saw something that would burn into my brain. Surprisingly, I never saw any explicit images. In fact, on the outside it looked no worse than an average American club. The only difference was that there were guys standing outside of every bar with menus of the different shows and services they have to offer, which was pretty sickening to all of us. What made me even more upset was seeing tables outside with a young Thai girl and an older American or European man sharing a drink together. My first reaction at this sight was anger. I was so angry at these men for being so disgusting. But I was later reminded that these men are just as lost as the girls, and everyone is just looking for love in all the wrong places.
What struck me the most was the blatant "in your face" sin, and the people's numbness to it. There were whole families on vacation casually walking down the same road we were disgusted by. It was like they were in the dark and didn't even know it. The week before I left for Thailand I was able to go caving with 2 of my friends. When we reached the deepest point of the cave, our instructor told us all to turn off our head lamps to experience complete darkness. I have to tell you, it was SO incredibly confusing to be in pitch black darkness. My eyes kept trying to adjust to some sort of light, but there was none. They kept trying and trying to see something, but there was nothing to be seen. Our leader told us if you stay in this darkness long enough, your eyes will eventually stop working and you'll go blind. This is how Thailand felt in a spiritual sense. Everyone on these streets were in the dark but had no example of light to realize that they were in utter darkness. They didn't know there was something better. But I knew.
Later, our team had a worship service to pray for and meditate on everything that we had learned and seen while in Thailand. This was another huge "God moment" for me. I told God that if He wanted me here in Thailand, I would go. I told Him I was willing. And by the end of the service I was weeping, but very selfish weeping. I wasn't crying because of the suffering of the Thai people, or even because of the presence of God. I was crying because I knew in that moment, that any plans I had made to have a cookie-cutter lifestyle had been ruined. I could feel God telling me to give it up, give it over, and to just be willing to move...and that was scary. But I kept telling God, I'm up for it. I'll go if this is where you want me.
And that's still where I am at this very moment. I think about Thailand every now and then, and I'm still praying over what action God wants me to take. But in my mind, the only way this trip could be a complete failure is if I now do nothing. I have committed to continually pray for Thailand and give to a ministry called Urban Neighbors of Hope, which is a ministry that sends Christians into the slums of Bangkok to find the needs of their neighbors and then meet those needs. God has completely opened my heart to be willing to go anywhere if I feel Him leading me there, although I haven't felt Him leading me to any particular place just yet. Right now my goal is to remain obedient to Him in daily living...and put the future entirely in His hands.
