I recently discovered a sin in my life that I must confess: I'm a doubter. I have a tendency to make a decision, and then doubt that decision. It doesn't seem like a terrible sin, but I recently discovered how destructive it can be when I lost something that I really cared about. That's how it always works, isn't it? You don't fully learn a lesson until it hurts. At least, that's the case with me. But I'm thankful that it happened, because otherwise I wouldn't have learned this lesson that I believe is crucial in order to really enjoy life...and now I can start over with new wisdom (thank God for fresh beginnings!)
I believe that doubt is pretty common in American culture because of how restless our culture is. Nothing is ever enough. We doubt almost every gift that we've been given: our spouse, our job, our house, our ministry, etc. I was recently talking about this with a friend and we kind of concluded that much of the doubt found in our culture stems from the obsession to find THE right (fill in the blank). The right guy, the right career, the right house. We have this mentality that there is only one possible ____ that will truly make us happy, all other choices are wrong, and our life becomes an endless quest in search of "the right". As a result, we doubt every decision we make that doesn't result in a hallelujah chorus and rainbows in the sky, and then we end up not appreciating the many benefits we could reap from that decision. We doubt, and then we don't fully receive the gifts that God has given us.
James says a little bit about doubtful people, and it's pretty convicting (typical James). He writes: "...He who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." That verse struck me, because I could totally relate. I was living a life of unstable-ness. I didn't feel stable in where God had me and the future that he could have for me. I was doubting what He had already given me, and as a result I didn't truly receive those gifts. I was doubting that God truly knows what's best for me. And let me tell you, this is no way to live. It's destructive in more ways than one, but what really bothered me was how torn I was all the time. "Maybe THIS is right...no...maybe I should do this....no.....but what if this?" Back and forth, back and forth. I was a wave of the sea, just like James said.
What's more, once you have a doubtful attitude, it becomes an endless cycle. You see, you can't fully enjoy something unless you invest in it, but if you're doubtful, you don't fully invest in it so you don't enjoy it, which leads you to doubt it. It's frustrating, really. Five words could potentially spoil the gifts you have been given: "I'm not sure about this." It's also kind of ironic. Your fear of something not working out causes that very thing to not work out when it otherwise probably would.
It's funny, one of the several things I found myself doubting this past semester was my decision to move off campus. It was kind of a hard transition for me because I love people, and I love being surrounded by people...and there's always people on a dorm. Off-campus life is kind of lonely, mainly because both of my roommates work full-time jobs. So I'm sitting at home by myself, wondering if I made the right choice, and then I decided to stop wondering and start investing. I began trying to get to know my neighbors. I was able to start relationships with people that I otherwise never would've met. I started volunteering with the youth group at my church. And it completely changed my view of living off-campus! All because I stopped doubting, and started investing. Plus, I recently found out that my student teaching placement for next semester is literally a 2-minute drive from my apartment and some of the kids in the youth group go to this school! Are you kidding me? While I was doubting, God was orchestrating. Guys, He knows what He's doing. Don't doubt where God has you.
So I resolved: I'm not going to doubt anymore. I'm going to throw myself at my God-honoring decisions with reckless abandon and with the attitude that God will make it great. I understand that it may not always work out, but if I don't expect it to then it definitely won't. I'm going to rid myself of double-mindedness in order to fully receive and enjoy the gifts God has given me. I'm going to be fully used by God wherever he has me in life. I'm going to take to heart the wise words of Jim Elliot, "Wherever you are, be all there."
Friday, December 27, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Where Modesty Matters Most
To my fellow sisters in Christ,
In today's society, modesty is an issue that commonly arises among us ladies. At a school where skirts and dresses must go to the knee, it's something that's a common complaint. In the summer when girls are posting pictures of themselves in bikinis, it becomes a heated debate. Everyone inserts their opinions and lectures and arguments to justify what they believe is right, but rarely does anyone consider God's opinion on the matter. This isn't a post to tell you what I believe you should and shouldn't wear, but rather to prompt you to consider God's opinion on the matter. That's all.
Modesty was never a huge concern in my life....until I did a Beth Moore study on Daniel (if you've never done a Beth Moore study, DO ONE! She's incredible!) I know what you're thinking: Daniel...and modesty? What's the relation? Let me explain.
During this study, we had reached an interesting story in Daniel 5. If you've never read it, I encourage you to! In this story, King Belshazzar (the current king of Babylon) is throwing a huge party in his palace. As he's getting drunk and messing around with his women and concubines, he summons his servant to go and fetch the gold goblets that were taken from the Jerusalem temple when the Babylonians had conquered the Israelites. As they drink from the goblets, they begin praising the gods of silver, bronze, wood, and stone. This is where it gets interesting. Long story short, a hand (yes, JUST a hand!) writes a message on the wall saying that the king is doomed for what he's done, and that very night Darius the Mede runs in and kills King Belshazzar and puts his reign to an end!
Whoa, that got really weird really fast...and you might be wondering what terrible crime the king committed that made him deserving of death that very night. And here it is: 1) he used a holy and consecrated item from the temple to serve an unholy purpose, and 2) he praised and worshiped creation over the Creator. Think that doesn't apply to you? Think again.
In 2 Timothy, Paul's last letter before his death, he writes "In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work" (2 Tim. 2:20-21). Although in this context he's talking about our conversations, I think this applies in other areas as well. The point is this: once we became Christians, God consecrated us for His holy purposes. Much like the goblets that were consecrated in the temple, God set us apart to use us as special instruments to honor and glorify Him. From this story, it's very obvious that using something that is holy for an unholy purpose REALLY ANGERS God! To the point where the person who desecrates a holy item deserves death. This applies to several areas in our sinful nature, but to me specifically God said, "Wardrobe."
I realized, every time I put on that super tight shirt or those shorts that are just a smidge too short, I'm desecrating something that God has made holy...and that angers him. And ladies, we know. We know which shirts we like to wear to accentuate our curves. We know which swimsuit we'll wear to the church party and which one we'll wear to senior beach week. And the scariest part, GOD knows. He knows our motives, he knows why we're wearing what we're wearing. He knows we want that one guy to notice us and that we're willing to take the risk of that brother (and several others) looking at us in an unholy way so that we can get his attention. And He doesn't like it. Not one bit. Shouldn't that be enough? Forget about the "don't make the guy stumble" argument for a minute. Shouldn't this opinion of God's be enough to make us dress modestly? It ANGERS GOD when we dress ourselves with these motives. And God's opinion is the only opinion that matters. When we behave in this way, not only are we desecrating God's holy temple (our body), but we're also worshiping false gods. We'd rather please society, our friends, or that group of guys over our God. That, is idol worship.
What did Belshazzar receive after committing these sins? Death, and we are easily deserving of the same punishment. Fortunately, by God's grace we don't have to literally die (only because of what Jesus did on the cross), but we should die to that nature! Instead of trying to "fit in" or "get attention" with our wardrobes, we should only seek to dress in a way that makes God smile. In fact, we should keep in mind that our wardrobe and our bodies aren't even ours at all. "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies" (1 Cor. 6:19-20). What if instead of waking up in the morning and thinking, "What do I want to wear today," we decide to say, "How does God want me to dress his body today?" Things would be a lot different. So what was your motivation for putting on what you're wearing? Are you trying to please yourself, your boyfriend, or God? Think about it.
Now, I realize the majority of this post has been saying, "Dress modestly because if you don't God will get angry." This statement is true, and seriously that in itself should be enough reason to dress wisely. But I also think it's important to realize why it makes God angry. God isn't some crazy micro-manager that blows up whenever we don't follow his rules. He gets angry because it frustrates him to see something that he loves so much being misused for something that wasn't part of his design. He made us and gave us the bodies we have for a reason, and he has a wonderful, beautiful, and incredibly fulfilling plan laid out for each of us! And it's the best plan possible! We could never create a better one in a million years. When he sees us settling, conforming, and misusing what He's given us, I believe it makes him sick. God's anger only comes from his indescribable love for us.
In conclusion, ladies, we need to guard our holiness. Christ died and bled incredible amounts of blood so that you can be holy. He died to set you apart for greater purposes, purposes much bigger and better than to just be desired by some boy. So don't be afraid to be set apart from society in every area of your life, including your wardrobe. He has something better coming!
In today's society, modesty is an issue that commonly arises among us ladies. At a school where skirts and dresses must go to the knee, it's something that's a common complaint. In the summer when girls are posting pictures of themselves in bikinis, it becomes a heated debate. Everyone inserts their opinions and lectures and arguments to justify what they believe is right, but rarely does anyone consider God's opinion on the matter. This isn't a post to tell you what I believe you should and shouldn't wear, but rather to prompt you to consider God's opinion on the matter. That's all.
Modesty was never a huge concern in my life....until I did a Beth Moore study on Daniel (if you've never done a Beth Moore study, DO ONE! She's incredible!) I know what you're thinking: Daniel...and modesty? What's the relation? Let me explain.
During this study, we had reached an interesting story in Daniel 5. If you've never read it, I encourage you to! In this story, King Belshazzar (the current king of Babylon) is throwing a huge party in his palace. As he's getting drunk and messing around with his women and concubines, he summons his servant to go and fetch the gold goblets that were taken from the Jerusalem temple when the Babylonians had conquered the Israelites. As they drink from the goblets, they begin praising the gods of silver, bronze, wood, and stone. This is where it gets interesting. Long story short, a hand (yes, JUST a hand!) writes a message on the wall saying that the king is doomed for what he's done, and that very night Darius the Mede runs in and kills King Belshazzar and puts his reign to an end!
Whoa, that got really weird really fast...and you might be wondering what terrible crime the king committed that made him deserving of death that very night. And here it is: 1) he used a holy and consecrated item from the temple to serve an unholy purpose, and 2) he praised and worshiped creation over the Creator. Think that doesn't apply to you? Think again.
In 2 Timothy, Paul's last letter before his death, he writes "In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work" (2 Tim. 2:20-21). Although in this context he's talking about our conversations, I think this applies in other areas as well. The point is this: once we became Christians, God consecrated us for His holy purposes. Much like the goblets that were consecrated in the temple, God set us apart to use us as special instruments to honor and glorify Him. From this story, it's very obvious that using something that is holy for an unholy purpose REALLY ANGERS God! To the point where the person who desecrates a holy item deserves death. This applies to several areas in our sinful nature, but to me specifically God said, "Wardrobe."
I realized, every time I put on that super tight shirt or those shorts that are just a smidge too short, I'm desecrating something that God has made holy...and that angers him. And ladies, we know. We know which shirts we like to wear to accentuate our curves. We know which swimsuit we'll wear to the church party and which one we'll wear to senior beach week. And the scariest part, GOD knows. He knows our motives, he knows why we're wearing what we're wearing. He knows we want that one guy to notice us and that we're willing to take the risk of that brother (and several others) looking at us in an unholy way so that we can get his attention. And He doesn't like it. Not one bit. Shouldn't that be enough? Forget about the "don't make the guy stumble" argument for a minute. Shouldn't this opinion of God's be enough to make us dress modestly? It ANGERS GOD when we dress ourselves with these motives. And God's opinion is the only opinion that matters. When we behave in this way, not only are we desecrating God's holy temple (our body), but we're also worshiping false gods. We'd rather please society, our friends, or that group of guys over our God. That, is idol worship.
What did Belshazzar receive after committing these sins? Death, and we are easily deserving of the same punishment. Fortunately, by God's grace we don't have to literally die (only because of what Jesus did on the cross), but we should die to that nature! Instead of trying to "fit in" or "get attention" with our wardrobes, we should only seek to dress in a way that makes God smile. In fact, we should keep in mind that our wardrobe and our bodies aren't even ours at all. "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies" (1 Cor. 6:19-20). What if instead of waking up in the morning and thinking, "What do I want to wear today," we decide to say, "How does God want me to dress his body today?" Things would be a lot different. So what was your motivation for putting on what you're wearing? Are you trying to please yourself, your boyfriend, or God? Think about it.
Now, I realize the majority of this post has been saying, "Dress modestly because if you don't God will get angry." This statement is true, and seriously that in itself should be enough reason to dress wisely. But I also think it's important to realize why it makes God angry. God isn't some crazy micro-manager that blows up whenever we don't follow his rules. He gets angry because it frustrates him to see something that he loves so much being misused for something that wasn't part of his design. He made us and gave us the bodies we have for a reason, and he has a wonderful, beautiful, and incredibly fulfilling plan laid out for each of us! And it's the best plan possible! We could never create a better one in a million years. When he sees us settling, conforming, and misusing what He's given us, I believe it makes him sick. God's anger only comes from his indescribable love for us.
In conclusion, ladies, we need to guard our holiness. Christ died and bled incredible amounts of blood so that you can be holy. He died to set you apart for greater purposes, purposes much bigger and better than to just be desired by some boy. So don't be afraid to be set apart from society in every area of your life, including your wardrobe. He has something better coming!
Monday, July 1, 2013
Thailand
If you haven't already read my previous post about what God did prior to my trip, you should! God was clearly working even before I stepped on the plane to go to Thailand, because He's just incredible like that. But anyways, this post will be mainly talking about the actual trip and what I pulled from it...so I expect it to be pretty long. It wouldn't be wise to start reading this if you're just trying to kill 5 minutes before having to be somewhere because I truly want to try to convey to you exactly what God taught me on this trip...which might take some thought on your part. With no further ado, I present to you my Thailand mission trip.
Typically when someone shares about a mission trip they share their top "God moments", or a time when they really experienced God telling them something at a particular point. My first "God moment" actually happened on the plane ride to South Korea. I was reading several encouraging letters that my friends had given me...and all I remember is breaking down in tears and thanking God for putting these incredible people in my life and for His comforting presence with me. I've honestly never felt more comforted by God than in that moment on that plane. I was just so overwhelmed with the fact that God is with me! I was reminded of the great commission: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” The promise is true! In this moment when I had set out to obey this command of our Savior, I was the most comforted by God than I had ever been in my life. It's not that I hadn't experienced the presence of God until this point, it was more that I had never experienced His specific comfort. It was this feeling of Him saying to me, "No matter what happens, it's gonna be OK because I'm here with you." What an incredible promise right?!! And what an incredible God! I absolutely love moments like this, when God takes a fact that I've known for practically all my life and makes me understand it like I just heard it for the first time.
Our first day in Thailand was spent running around and exploring the city of Bangkok. The sights, sounds, and smells were so unique and interesting and everyone worked through jet lag like champs! It was in Bangkok where I had another big "God moment". We were able to visit a Buddhist shrine in the middle of the city, which was a heart-breaking and eerie experience for all of us. Some of our team felt darkness, some felt saddened, but I felt....urgency. It was so heart-breaking to see all of these people kneeling and worshiping a statue that can't help them. They were searching, and it killed me that I knew what they needed, I knew what they were searching for...but I couldn't tell them. I didn't know their language. And even if I did know the language, Buddhism is so engrained in Thai culture that they believe if they forsake Buddhism they also forsake being Thai. Our missionary contact, Dave, explained that typically converting a Thai person to Christianity requires building a long-term relationship and several months or years of pouring into that person's life. For the first time in my life I felt the urgent need for long-term missionaries; people that would be willing to live in and learn another culture for the sake of building relationships and reaching people for Christ. This is especially needed in Thailand, where less than 1% of the country is Christian. So this concludes the first thing that God laid on my heart: the NEED.
After one night and day in Bangkok, we flew to Chiang Rai, a northern city in Thailand. We were told that for the next 4 days we would be working with the Akha people group. Akha people are mainly immigrants from Myanmar and Laos who first started coming to Thailand to seek refuge from war or famine. They are really looked down upon by Thai people since they aren't really Thai and many of them are illegal. It's hard for many of them to get jobs or have opportunities of any kind, so when an offer appears they usually jump on it without hesitation. For this reason, the Akha people are a major target for solicitors in the sex industry, especially children. We originally thought we could be doing a 3-day VBS with the Akha kids, but we ended up doing 2 days of pouring concrete for the construction of a church and one day of VBS with the Akha kids in the mountains. They say the number one rule on mission trips is to be flexible, and I believe our team followed this rule really well! I don't think I heard a single complaint...which was encouraging. We were all happy to be able to help in any way that we could, even if it wasn't what we originally anticipated.
The VBS in with the Akha kids in the mountains was an incredible experience! The kids were all so well-behaved and just happy to be hanging out with Americans. The VBS took place in a public school, which was so surprising to me. They had no problem with us sharing the Gospel and teaching about Jesus in their school simply because we were American, and they idolize Americans. One teacher was literally in tears because of how excited and thankful she was that a whole group of Americans came to their little Akha school in the mountains. I was talking with a good friend on the way back to the states, and she explained to me how blessed she feels to be an American simply because of the weight we could have in several countries like Thailand where Americans are highly esteemed. This was an interesting point to me. I always felt blessed to be an American, but I never thought about how this little fact can give me such an advantage to spread the gospel in certain Asian and Latin American cultures. They hang on every word we say...so what if we only spoke the words of God!? What if God gave me the nationality that I have not just to bless me, but to more effectively reach the people of these cultures?
We found out later that night that our team's little flannelgraph presentation of the gospel could be the first time several of these kids ever heard the name of Jesus. Wow! What a privilege! To be able to first utter the name of our incredible Lord to these kids, to be able to plant a seed in their hearts, was such a blessing! I'm so thankful to God for that opportunity, and I hope to have many more like it throughout the rest of my life.
Our last day in Chiang Rai was spent being the typical American tourist. We rode long-tail boats and elephants, visited the Golden Triangle (where you can see 3 countries in one spot), and visited the White Temple. This is the day that typically everyone wants to hear about because it made for great pictures. "You got to ride an elephant?! That is SOO cool!" Yeah, it was cool, but it's definitely not the highlight of my trip. But all in all, it was a cool day with awesome experiences!
Our last 2 days spent in Bangkok were probably the heaviest, because that's where we learned about the condition of Thailand as a whole in regards to human trafficking. We had several missionaries and representatives of non-profit organizations come and speak to us and tell us the facts. It was in these 2 days when we were told that 60% of the Thai government's income is from the sex industry, that 70% of the single males traveling to Thailand come only for this particular service, and that most of the girls in the industry could leave any time they wanted, but they stay because there really is no other option. These facts completely changed everything that I thought I knew about human trafficking. I always thought that it was an issue of law enforcement, that these girls are only where they are because they were kidnapped or tricked into working that job and that the police were the only people qualified to help these girls. But the truth is that most of the girls know exactly what they're getting themselves into, but they commit to it out of poverty and lack of any other option. It's not always an issue of "bad guys" being out there. The problem is more rooted in factors such as certain aspects of Thai culture, the breakdown of families, poverty, and government corruption
Finding out more about this problem was eye-opening, devastating, overwhelming and inconvenient all at the same time. The first three adjectives probably make sense, but you might be questioning my choice of the last adjective. Well, it was inconvenient for me because as I learned more about the sex industry in Thailand, I began to realize that this is a problem that I can directly help if I choose to. I began to realize that these girls don't need Liam Neeson to come and bust them out, they just need someone to give them another option. They just need a leg-up to higher opportunities. They just need some way to provide for their families. And more than anything, they need Jesus. Of course, all of these things are things that I can actually help with if I'm willing to make the sacrifice to help...which to me is (you got it) inconvenient. Would I be willing to move to Thailand and learn Thai in order to help this problem?
Then we walked through the red light district. We went in shifts of 5 at a time so that we wouldn't look suspicious. When it was my group's turn to go, I was so incredibly nervous. I kept singing in my head "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear. I tried to avoid looking around in case I saw something that would burn into my brain. Surprisingly, I never saw any explicit images. In fact, on the outside it looked no worse than an average American club. The only difference was that there were guys standing outside of every bar with menus of the different shows and services they have to offer, which was pretty sickening to all of us. What made me even more upset was seeing tables outside with a young Thai girl and an older American or European man sharing a drink together. My first reaction at this sight was anger. I was so angry at these men for being so disgusting. But I was later reminded that these men are just as lost as the girls, and everyone is just looking for love in all the wrong places.
What struck me the most was the blatant "in your face" sin, and the people's numbness to it. There were whole families on vacation casually walking down the same road we were disgusted by. It was like they were in the dark and didn't even know it. The week before I left for Thailand I was able to go caving with 2 of my friends. When we reached the deepest point of the cave, our instructor told us all to turn off our head lamps to experience complete darkness. I have to tell you, it was SO incredibly confusing to be in pitch black darkness. My eyes kept trying to adjust to some sort of light, but there was none. They kept trying and trying to see something, but there was nothing to be seen. Our leader told us if you stay in this darkness long enough, your eyes will eventually stop working and you'll go blind. This is how Thailand felt in a spiritual sense. Everyone on these streets were in the dark but had no example of light to realize that they were in utter darkness. They didn't know there was something better. But I knew.
Later, our team had a worship service to pray for and meditate on everything that we had learned and seen while in Thailand. This was another huge "God moment" for me. I told God that if He wanted me here in Thailand, I would go. I told Him I was willing. And by the end of the service I was weeping, but very selfish weeping. I wasn't crying because of the suffering of the Thai people, or even because of the presence of God. I was crying because I knew in that moment, that any plans I had made to have a cookie-cutter lifestyle had been ruined. I could feel God telling me to give it up, give it over, and to just be willing to move...and that was scary. But I kept telling God, I'm up for it. I'll go if this is where you want me.
And that's still where I am at this very moment. I think about Thailand every now and then, and I'm still praying over what action God wants me to take. But in my mind, the only way this trip could be a complete failure is if I now do nothing. I have committed to continually pray for Thailand and give to a ministry called Urban Neighbors of Hope, which is a ministry that sends Christians into the slums of Bangkok to find the needs of their neighbors and then meet those needs. God has completely opened my heart to be willing to go anywhere if I feel Him leading me there, although I haven't felt Him leading me to any particular place just yet. Right now my goal is to remain obedient to Him in daily living...and put the future entirely in His hands.
Typically when someone shares about a mission trip they share their top "God moments", or a time when they really experienced God telling them something at a particular point. My first "God moment" actually happened on the plane ride to South Korea. I was reading several encouraging letters that my friends had given me...and all I remember is breaking down in tears and thanking God for putting these incredible people in my life and for His comforting presence with me. I've honestly never felt more comforted by God than in that moment on that plane. I was just so overwhelmed with the fact that God is with me! I was reminded of the great commission: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” The promise is true! In this moment when I had set out to obey this command of our Savior, I was the most comforted by God than I had ever been in my life. It's not that I hadn't experienced the presence of God until this point, it was more that I had never experienced His specific comfort. It was this feeling of Him saying to me, "No matter what happens, it's gonna be OK because I'm here with you." What an incredible promise right?!! And what an incredible God! I absolutely love moments like this, when God takes a fact that I've known for practically all my life and makes me understand it like I just heard it for the first time.
Our first day in Thailand was spent running around and exploring the city of Bangkok. The sights, sounds, and smells were so unique and interesting and everyone worked through jet lag like champs! It was in Bangkok where I had another big "God moment". We were able to visit a Buddhist shrine in the middle of the city, which was a heart-breaking and eerie experience for all of us. Some of our team felt darkness, some felt saddened, but I felt....urgency. It was so heart-breaking to see all of these people kneeling and worshiping a statue that can't help them. They were searching, and it killed me that I knew what they needed, I knew what they were searching for...but I couldn't tell them. I didn't know their language. And even if I did know the language, Buddhism is so engrained in Thai culture that they believe if they forsake Buddhism they also forsake being Thai. Our missionary contact, Dave, explained that typically converting a Thai person to Christianity requires building a long-term relationship and several months or years of pouring into that person's life. For the first time in my life I felt the urgent need for long-term missionaries; people that would be willing to live in and learn another culture for the sake of building relationships and reaching people for Christ. This is especially needed in Thailand, where less than 1% of the country is Christian. So this concludes the first thing that God laid on my heart: the NEED.
After one night and day in Bangkok, we flew to Chiang Rai, a northern city in Thailand. We were told that for the next 4 days we would be working with the Akha people group. Akha people are mainly immigrants from Myanmar and Laos who first started coming to Thailand to seek refuge from war or famine. They are really looked down upon by Thai people since they aren't really Thai and many of them are illegal. It's hard for many of them to get jobs or have opportunities of any kind, so when an offer appears they usually jump on it without hesitation. For this reason, the Akha people are a major target for solicitors in the sex industry, especially children. We originally thought we could be doing a 3-day VBS with the Akha kids, but we ended up doing 2 days of pouring concrete for the construction of a church and one day of VBS with the Akha kids in the mountains. They say the number one rule on mission trips is to be flexible, and I believe our team followed this rule really well! I don't think I heard a single complaint...which was encouraging. We were all happy to be able to help in any way that we could, even if it wasn't what we originally anticipated.
The VBS in with the Akha kids in the mountains was an incredible experience! The kids were all so well-behaved and just happy to be hanging out with Americans. The VBS took place in a public school, which was so surprising to me. They had no problem with us sharing the Gospel and teaching about Jesus in their school simply because we were American, and they idolize Americans. One teacher was literally in tears because of how excited and thankful she was that a whole group of Americans came to their little Akha school in the mountains. I was talking with a good friend on the way back to the states, and she explained to me how blessed she feels to be an American simply because of the weight we could have in several countries like Thailand where Americans are highly esteemed. This was an interesting point to me. I always felt blessed to be an American, but I never thought about how this little fact can give me such an advantage to spread the gospel in certain Asian and Latin American cultures. They hang on every word we say...so what if we only spoke the words of God!? What if God gave me the nationality that I have not just to bless me, but to more effectively reach the people of these cultures?
We found out later that night that our team's little flannelgraph presentation of the gospel could be the first time several of these kids ever heard the name of Jesus. Wow! What a privilege! To be able to first utter the name of our incredible Lord to these kids, to be able to plant a seed in their hearts, was such a blessing! I'm so thankful to God for that opportunity, and I hope to have many more like it throughout the rest of my life.Our last day in Chiang Rai was spent being the typical American tourist. We rode long-tail boats and elephants, visited the Golden Triangle (where you can see 3 countries in one spot), and visited the White Temple. This is the day that typically everyone wants to hear about because it made for great pictures. "You got to ride an elephant?! That is SOO cool!" Yeah, it was cool, but it's definitely not the highlight of my trip. But all in all, it was a cool day with awesome experiences!
Our last 2 days spent in Bangkok were probably the heaviest, because that's where we learned about the condition of Thailand as a whole in regards to human trafficking. We had several missionaries and representatives of non-profit organizations come and speak to us and tell us the facts. It was in these 2 days when we were told that 60% of the Thai government's income is from the sex industry, that 70% of the single males traveling to Thailand come only for this particular service, and that most of the girls in the industry could leave any time they wanted, but they stay because there really is no other option. These facts completely changed everything that I thought I knew about human trafficking. I always thought that it was an issue of law enforcement, that these girls are only where they are because they were kidnapped or tricked into working that job and that the police were the only people qualified to help these girls. But the truth is that most of the girls know exactly what they're getting themselves into, but they commit to it out of poverty and lack of any other option. It's not always an issue of "bad guys" being out there. The problem is more rooted in factors such as certain aspects of Thai culture, the breakdown of families, poverty, and government corruption
Finding out more about this problem was eye-opening, devastating, overwhelming and inconvenient all at the same time. The first three adjectives probably make sense, but you might be questioning my choice of the last adjective. Well, it was inconvenient for me because as I learned more about the sex industry in Thailand, I began to realize that this is a problem that I can directly help if I choose to. I began to realize that these girls don't need Liam Neeson to come and bust them out, they just need someone to give them another option. They just need a leg-up to higher opportunities. They just need some way to provide for their families. And more than anything, they need Jesus. Of course, all of these things are things that I can actually help with if I'm willing to make the sacrifice to help...which to me is (you got it) inconvenient. Would I be willing to move to Thailand and learn Thai in order to help this problem?
Then we walked through the red light district. We went in shifts of 5 at a time so that we wouldn't look suspicious. When it was my group's turn to go, I was so incredibly nervous. I kept singing in my head "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear. I tried to avoid looking around in case I saw something that would burn into my brain. Surprisingly, I never saw any explicit images. In fact, on the outside it looked no worse than an average American club. The only difference was that there were guys standing outside of every bar with menus of the different shows and services they have to offer, which was pretty sickening to all of us. What made me even more upset was seeing tables outside with a young Thai girl and an older American or European man sharing a drink together. My first reaction at this sight was anger. I was so angry at these men for being so disgusting. But I was later reminded that these men are just as lost as the girls, and everyone is just looking for love in all the wrong places.
What struck me the most was the blatant "in your face" sin, and the people's numbness to it. There were whole families on vacation casually walking down the same road we were disgusted by. It was like they were in the dark and didn't even know it. The week before I left for Thailand I was able to go caving with 2 of my friends. When we reached the deepest point of the cave, our instructor told us all to turn off our head lamps to experience complete darkness. I have to tell you, it was SO incredibly confusing to be in pitch black darkness. My eyes kept trying to adjust to some sort of light, but there was none. They kept trying and trying to see something, but there was nothing to be seen. Our leader told us if you stay in this darkness long enough, your eyes will eventually stop working and you'll go blind. This is how Thailand felt in a spiritual sense. Everyone on these streets were in the dark but had no example of light to realize that they were in utter darkness. They didn't know there was something better. But I knew.
Later, our team had a worship service to pray for and meditate on everything that we had learned and seen while in Thailand. This was another huge "God moment" for me. I told God that if He wanted me here in Thailand, I would go. I told Him I was willing. And by the end of the service I was weeping, but very selfish weeping. I wasn't crying because of the suffering of the Thai people, or even because of the presence of God. I was crying because I knew in that moment, that any plans I had made to have a cookie-cutter lifestyle had been ruined. I could feel God telling me to give it up, give it over, and to just be willing to move...and that was scary. But I kept telling God, I'm up for it. I'll go if this is where you want me.
And that's still where I am at this very moment. I think about Thailand every now and then, and I'm still praying over what action God wants me to take. But in my mind, the only way this trip could be a complete failure is if I now do nothing. I have committed to continually pray for Thailand and give to a ministry called Urban Neighbors of Hope, which is a ministry that sends Christians into the slums of Bangkok to find the needs of their neighbors and then meet those needs. God has completely opened my heart to be willing to go anywhere if I feel Him leading me there, although I haven't felt Him leading me to any particular place just yet. Right now my goal is to remain obedient to Him in daily living...and put the future entirely in His hands.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Thailand - The Starting Line
This post has been a LOOONG time coming, and I apologize for how long it's taken me to update you guys on what exactly I learned while I was in Thailand. I originally wanted to make a video talking about what I learned, but it's much easier for me to find the wording that I'm looking for when I write it rather than speaking it... So here it goes!
I suppose the trip actually began before the trip actually began. I originally had no intention of going on a short-term trip for this year's spring break, but clearly God's intentions trump my own. Last semester, I served as a Spiritual Life Director on my hall and was required to go to the "Light" missions meeting. This meeting basically explains the multiple mission trips that our school would be taking over the year (one of the several reasons why I love Liberty!). With each country that they would be traveling to, a picture of a scene from that country would pop up on the screen. It was a well-done presentation, and the room buzzed with excitement as each country was explained. Then a picture of monks bowing down to a Buddha statue popped up on the screen. As soon as I saw this picture, I knew God was calling me to go. It was one of the few times in my life where I can say God was definitely telling me to go...and it was weird. As Johnny Moore explained that the country was Thailand and we would be working with sex trafficking, it just got weirder. God, I'm not equipped to talk to those women. I don't have any experience with what they're dealing with...I can never relate to them! But it didn't matter. God told me I was going.
For those of you who don't know me very well, I'm the sort of person that counts the cost. I'm a logical thinker. I weigh out everything that needs to happen before I commit to do something. I pray about big decisions and try to get the advice of family and friends...EXCEPT when God called me to go to Thailand. I didn't hesitate. Part of me still thinks it was crazy that I immediately jumped into it...that's so unlike me! But that's just it: it wasn't me. I truly believe it was the Spirit in me that walked directly up to the Thailand booth after the meeting, that filled out the 7-page application that night, and that got up extra early the next day to turn in the application to the missions office. I took all these steps without counsel of my parents or friends, but I was confident that God called me to go.
And then, I found out how much it would cost...$3,500! Are you kidding me? I began to doubt. I never doubted God's capabilities of providing the funds, but I did start questioning God's calling for me to go. Is this really the best way to spend $3,500 of the church's money? We could probably feed 20 Nicaraguan families for a year with that much money! And then I realized...we can keep throwing money at poverty and make peoples' lives better for a little while, or we can actually go to them and share with them the bread of life that will benefit them for eternity as well as provide for their current needs. I decided that even if only one person got one step closer to accepting Christ as a result of this trip, the $3,500 is absolutely worth it. Christ paid the ultimate price to rescue me from darkness, so why should I let any other price hinder His work of saving souls?
This next little bit is for everyone that supported me financially and in prayer: THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU!!!! God has worked in incredibly ways in ALL of you and I thank you for being obedient to Him and to the great commission. I honestly never worried that God wouldn't provide the money (which is probably thanks to your prayers!). Through faithful followers of Christ and my family I was able to meet every deadline with ease. The week before the final deadline was due, I was $500 short. In a matter of seriously 10 minutes, I was fully funded! An awesome couple from my church texted me and told me they had a $400 check for me, and my parents offered to pay the last $100 as their contribution (even though they never had to pay it because a check from my brother-in-law's grandparents came in the next day! Thank-you Bobby and Boggie Sena!) All that to say...God is awesome and gave me EXACTLY what I needed. And money is just money.
It's also so incredible to receive so much encouragement and support from my friends and family. I just have to say...I have some of the best friends a person could possibly have. My best friend, Courtney Woolfolk (umm....she's incredible) gave me all of the Christmas money that she received to put towards the trip. During the last few hours before leaving my dorm, Courtney and another close friend, Sheila, stayed up until 3:00 am just to pray with me right before I left. Another friend who spent last summer in Thailand gave me continuous encouragement and tips on how to not seem so "American" in a quiet Asian culture (something I desperately needed to know). Through it all, I felt so blessed and privileged to be going on this trip and to have the awesome friends that I have. I grew a new appreciation for them and for their hearts that are so committed to Christ and His purposes!
These are just a few of the mini-lessons I learned as in preparation for the trip. Be sure to read my next post to find out about what I learned in Thailand!
I suppose the trip actually began before the trip actually began. I originally had no intention of going on a short-term trip for this year's spring break, but clearly God's intentions trump my own. Last semester, I served as a Spiritual Life Director on my hall and was required to go to the "Light" missions meeting. This meeting basically explains the multiple mission trips that our school would be taking over the year (one of the several reasons why I love Liberty!). With each country that they would be traveling to, a picture of a scene from that country would pop up on the screen. It was a well-done presentation, and the room buzzed with excitement as each country was explained. Then a picture of monks bowing down to a Buddha statue popped up on the screen. As soon as I saw this picture, I knew God was calling me to go. It was one of the few times in my life where I can say God was definitely telling me to go...and it was weird. As Johnny Moore explained that the country was Thailand and we would be working with sex trafficking, it just got weirder. God, I'm not equipped to talk to those women. I don't have any experience with what they're dealing with...I can never relate to them! But it didn't matter. God told me I was going.
For those of you who don't know me very well, I'm the sort of person that counts the cost. I'm a logical thinker. I weigh out everything that needs to happen before I commit to do something. I pray about big decisions and try to get the advice of family and friends...EXCEPT when God called me to go to Thailand. I didn't hesitate. Part of me still thinks it was crazy that I immediately jumped into it...that's so unlike me! But that's just it: it wasn't me. I truly believe it was the Spirit in me that walked directly up to the Thailand booth after the meeting, that filled out the 7-page application that night, and that got up extra early the next day to turn in the application to the missions office. I took all these steps without counsel of my parents or friends, but I was confident that God called me to go.
And then, I found out how much it would cost...$3,500! Are you kidding me? I began to doubt. I never doubted God's capabilities of providing the funds, but I did start questioning God's calling for me to go. Is this really the best way to spend $3,500 of the church's money? We could probably feed 20 Nicaraguan families for a year with that much money! And then I realized...we can keep throwing money at poverty and make peoples' lives better for a little while, or we can actually go to them and share with them the bread of life that will benefit them for eternity as well as provide for their current needs. I decided that even if only one person got one step closer to accepting Christ as a result of this trip, the $3,500 is absolutely worth it. Christ paid the ultimate price to rescue me from darkness, so why should I let any other price hinder His work of saving souls?
This next little bit is for everyone that supported me financially and in prayer: THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU!!!! God has worked in incredibly ways in ALL of you and I thank you for being obedient to Him and to the great commission. I honestly never worried that God wouldn't provide the money (which is probably thanks to your prayers!). Through faithful followers of Christ and my family I was able to meet every deadline with ease. The week before the final deadline was due, I was $500 short. In a matter of seriously 10 minutes, I was fully funded! An awesome couple from my church texted me and told me they had a $400 check for me, and my parents offered to pay the last $100 as their contribution (even though they never had to pay it because a check from my brother-in-law's grandparents came in the next day! Thank-you Bobby and Boggie Sena!) All that to say...God is awesome and gave me EXACTLY what I needed. And money is just money.
It's also so incredible to receive so much encouragement and support from my friends and family. I just have to say...I have some of the best friends a person could possibly have. My best friend, Courtney Woolfolk (umm....she's incredible) gave me all of the Christmas money that she received to put towards the trip. During the last few hours before leaving my dorm, Courtney and another close friend, Sheila, stayed up until 3:00 am just to pray with me right before I left. Another friend who spent last summer in Thailand gave me continuous encouragement and tips on how to not seem so "American" in a quiet Asian culture (something I desperately needed to know). Through it all, I felt so blessed and privileged to be going on this trip and to have the awesome friends that I have. I grew a new appreciation for them and for their hearts that are so committed to Christ and His purposes!
These are just a few of the mini-lessons I learned as in preparation for the trip. Be sure to read my next post to find out about what I learned in Thailand!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Kiddie Pool Deep: Our Shallow Pursuit of Relationships
"How did SHE get HIM?"..."Oh, she's out of his league."..."He's REALLY nice and everything...but I just don't see anything happening with him." We've all at least heard these words and have likely said them (myself included). The emphasis that our society puts on appearances is remarkable, especially when it comes to relationships. We make judgements and conclusions about a person without ever having a 5-minute conversation with them. We're as shallow as a kiddie pool! Do we honestly not recognize how shallow we're being? Or do we recognize it but have no problem with it? The options are equally disturbing.
I must admit that I have personally struggled with this issue. As part of my sinful nature I have found myself making quick judgements based solely on appearances or envying the life of someone who I considered to be more attractive. The only requirements that I set for the type of guy I wanted to date were that: 1) he loves God and 2) I'm attracted to him. They seem like innocent standards, but a closer look at #2 revealed my shallow, sinful self. I must be attracted to him, but what did that mean?
My original definition was that I must like him at first sight; that he must have a captivating appearance, eyes that I could melt inside of, a smile that makes me faint, and of course, a six-pack. But then I stepped back and asked myself, "Is this God's definition of attraction? Are these really the qualities that God wants me to look for?" Wow, for the fifteenth time I realized how incredibly shallow I am.
So, God started doing what He does best: changing my heart. He began replacing my schema of what I think a husband should look like with His framework of what a man of God truly is. He showed me in His word how He doesn't consider appearances at all: "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) He instead searches for men who are actively seeking Him, who are devoted to prayer, and who are willing to serve, and he prompted me to do the same.
In addition, God began to show me how choosing someone based on their appearance is not only shallow, but it's also just a terrible idea. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting..." (Prov. 31:30) Beauty, the main component that our society bases judgements upon, is fleeting. In other words, it's "passing swiftly; vanishing quickly; transient; transitory" as defined by dictionary.com. Take a deep breath in...now release it. That was beauty. It was here for a moment, and now it's gone, never to be retrieved again.
But there is another kind of beauty, one that is transcendent and, unfortunately, often over-looked. This is the beauty of character, the only beauty God is concerned with. Because this is God's main concern, it should be ours too. Speaking specifically to women here, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4) Notice the phrase "unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit". Beauty of character is the only beauty that is guaranteed to last. If beauty is fleeting, but spiritual character is forever, then why do we base so much of our lives on the former and not the latter?
It seems so silly that we choose our spouses based on this temporary breath of physical beauty and then wonder why our marriages don't work out. Perhaps part of the reason the divorce rate is so high is because we're picking our spouses based on such transient criteria rather than godly values that will last. Maybe if we stopped looking for attractiveness and instead sought godliness we would have more successful relationships.
After having realized all of this, someone did catch my eye. He was a good friend, a man of God doing his best to seek Him and serve others. He was selfless and gave all he could possibly give to other people. He had such a hunger for God's word and such a will to do everything God's way. I found myself wanting to be around him more and more...I was attracted to him. And then I realized, attraction isn't how you feel about a person the first time you see them, it's having the desire to be around someone because of their character. If this is the case, then I'm afraid there are several people who are missing out on incredible people because they never felt the "attraction" that they never allowed the chance to develop.
It now frustrates me to see awesome godly people being romantically ignored simply because they don't look a certain way. It seems like Christians don't want a godly spouse, they want a good-looking spouse. What if I told you that the ONLY perfect person that ever walked this Earth wasn't good-looking? When prophesying about our coming Savior, Isaiah writes: "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." (Isaiah 53:2) Sorry to shatter your picture-perfect depiction of Jesus, but scripture tells us that he wasn't attractive! I can clearly hear the pharisees and the unbelieving Jews, "He's the one? It can't be him. Look at him! God must be sending someone else." Funny, I hear the exact same words come from the mouths of some modern-day Christians.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to pursue someone who is beautiful, but I am saying that it shouldn't be the main criteria. We should pursue people that are first of all godly, and if you happen to think they're super attractive in appearance then hey, that's an added bonus.
In conclusion, I want to challenge you. Make every effort to break our society's mold of shallowness and seek God to change your heart. I challenge you to stop writing people off as potential partners because they don't look a certain way. I challenge you to fight your sinful nature and truly consider character over appearances. If you want to truly enjoy the water, you need to get out of the shallow kiddie pool and jump into deeper waters.
I must admit that I have personally struggled with this issue. As part of my sinful nature I have found myself making quick judgements based solely on appearances or envying the life of someone who I considered to be more attractive. The only requirements that I set for the type of guy I wanted to date were that: 1) he loves God and 2) I'm attracted to him. They seem like innocent standards, but a closer look at #2 revealed my shallow, sinful self. I must be attracted to him, but what did that mean?
My original definition was that I must like him at first sight; that he must have a captivating appearance, eyes that I could melt inside of, a smile that makes me faint, and of course, a six-pack. But then I stepped back and asked myself, "Is this God's definition of attraction? Are these really the qualities that God wants me to look for?" Wow, for the fifteenth time I realized how incredibly shallow I am.
So, God started doing what He does best: changing my heart. He began replacing my schema of what I think a husband should look like with His framework of what a man of God truly is. He showed me in His word how He doesn't consider appearances at all: "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) He instead searches for men who are actively seeking Him, who are devoted to prayer, and who are willing to serve, and he prompted me to do the same.
In addition, God began to show me how choosing someone based on their appearance is not only shallow, but it's also just a terrible idea. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting..." (Prov. 31:30) Beauty, the main component that our society bases judgements upon, is fleeting. In other words, it's "passing swiftly; vanishing quickly; transient; transitory" as defined by dictionary.com. Take a deep breath in...now release it. That was beauty. It was here for a moment, and now it's gone, never to be retrieved again.
But there is another kind of beauty, one that is transcendent and, unfortunately, often over-looked. This is the beauty of character, the only beauty God is concerned with. Because this is God's main concern, it should be ours too. Speaking specifically to women here, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4) Notice the phrase "unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit". Beauty of character is the only beauty that is guaranteed to last. If beauty is fleeting, but spiritual character is forever, then why do we base so much of our lives on the former and not the latter?
It seems so silly that we choose our spouses based on this temporary breath of physical beauty and then wonder why our marriages don't work out. Perhaps part of the reason the divorce rate is so high is because we're picking our spouses based on such transient criteria rather than godly values that will last. Maybe if we stopped looking for attractiveness and instead sought godliness we would have more successful relationships.
After having realized all of this, someone did catch my eye. He was a good friend, a man of God doing his best to seek Him and serve others. He was selfless and gave all he could possibly give to other people. He had such a hunger for God's word and such a will to do everything God's way. I found myself wanting to be around him more and more...I was attracted to him. And then I realized, attraction isn't how you feel about a person the first time you see them, it's having the desire to be around someone because of their character. If this is the case, then I'm afraid there are several people who are missing out on incredible people because they never felt the "attraction" that they never allowed the chance to develop.
It now frustrates me to see awesome godly people being romantically ignored simply because they don't look a certain way. It seems like Christians don't want a godly spouse, they want a good-looking spouse. What if I told you that the ONLY perfect person that ever walked this Earth wasn't good-looking? When prophesying about our coming Savior, Isaiah writes: "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." (Isaiah 53:2) Sorry to shatter your picture-perfect depiction of Jesus, but scripture tells us that he wasn't attractive! I can clearly hear the pharisees and the unbelieving Jews, "He's the one? It can't be him. Look at him! God must be sending someone else." Funny, I hear the exact same words come from the mouths of some modern-day Christians.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to pursue someone who is beautiful, but I am saying that it shouldn't be the main criteria. We should pursue people that are first of all godly, and if you happen to think they're super attractive in appearance then hey, that's an added bonus.
In conclusion, I want to challenge you. Make every effort to break our society's mold of shallowness and seek God to change your heart. I challenge you to stop writing people off as potential partners because they don't look a certain way. I challenge you to fight your sinful nature and truly consider character over appearances. If you want to truly enjoy the water, you need to get out of the shallow kiddie pool and jump into deeper waters.
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